I allow the pain and analyze. Vulnerability is not weakness. No compensation/repression through work, alcohol, drugs or sex. I think about how I myself worked towards the end of the relationship in order to learn from it for the future. I know that 90 percent of all justifications are just pretexts and in reality there is almost always another problem causing it. I know I can't control everything. I know that people are not static, but that certain situations can promote toxic behavior patterns (self-protection). That's why I have no problem with entering into a binding relationship again afterwards. The strength to face your feelings, process what you've experienced and look forward gives me power - over myself. That's why I don't listen to people who advise me to stop thinking about it. I don't live in the past just because I face it. On the contrary: I live in the present, where it is a burden, and work on my future - without this burden.