Women are generally considered to be the empathetic gender. I can't really confirm that. I think the term benevolence is more appropriate here. I think women tend to be more benevolent, whereas empathy is a skill that can be developed regardless of gender. I think many people don't know the difference between morality and empathy. Empathy means being open to the perspective and needs of others. Morality is an ideal that everyone has for themselves. Forcing this ideal on others has nothing to do with empathy.

One example is that men are often told: You don't need to build muscles. You don't need to reinforce your masculinity. But that immediately makes a judgment, then connects it with a personal ideal and then tries to talk the other person into adopting that very same ideal. That is not empathy, even if it stems from a motive of benevolence. That is moralizing.

In fact, even if the motives are fundamentally different, the effect is not so dissimilar to the infamous gaslighting (a subtle form of violence). As a man, you can become just as insecure and doubt yourself as women and non-binary people. Nobody - regardless of gender - wants to be told what they can and cannot want.

For men, physical strength is not a universal need, but a common one that is in the nature of men. Likewise, dominance or strength through superiority are completely natural drives - which, by the way, also occur in women.

In a society, it is not about setting rules about who can be what, but about everyone being able to live out their needs freely within a socially acceptable framework without being reduced to that or judged as a human being. When we talk about toxic masculinity, we mean a dynamic that is harmful - for example, aggressive behavior that harms others (that is, not socially acceptable). But if we keep talking about toxic masculinity, we must also talk about toxic femininity. Toxic femininity, for example, is the moralizing behavior I described. And if we now separate ourselves from the idea that both things can be stereotypically assigned to genders, we might be able to find a more objective basis for discussion that is not based on demonization but on empathy.

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