By acknowledging and accepting my own pain, I was able to recognize myself in my behavior. I wrote, I took pictures. I also argued with friends, made up, cried, and laughed. I openly and confidently lived my self-concept despite its flaws. I succeeded in taking a critical yet understanding look at my own processes and acknowledged the vulnerabilities that fuel my emotions and influence my behavior and that of others. In my own suffering, I discovered understanding and thus forgiveness for both others and myself, which frees me from pain and strengthens my self-determination.

I recognize that I have a strong self-centeredness regarding the motives of others when they cause me noticeable harm, without fully considering their actual reasons and difficulties. I acknowledge that I have made mistakes, hurt people, and deceived myself about it. I acknowledge that I have paid more attention to the hurt than to my anger. I bear the responsibility for how I will deal with these insights.

However, I already feel much better. Even my brief negative emotional spikes that I almost regularly experience while winding down to sleep, which I have successfully pushed away in seconds for many years, have not appeared at all in recent days. This also applies to other emotional spikes that I usually feel in certain situations. The feeling comes, I name it, and by doing so, it becomes “dry.” The next time it comes, it doesn't happen at all because my brain does not receive a reward for engaging with it but rather a reward for consciously recognizing and categorizing it.

I have done this before, but due to the inner tensions and my ADHD, controlling my impulses has been more difficult for me, which also affected my conscious engagement with myself. I am not trying to excuse wrongdoing but to defuse its emotional component in order to create space for constructive thinking.

It was a very special time. In total I was there every weekend for 55 days. Much too little. I wish it would have been infinite.🌠 I will miss it very much!
Goodbye Bad Bodendorf! 😢❤️

A pigeon's favorite evening spot 🌄

The ivy bees (Colletes hederae) are one of the 15 species of plasterer bees native to Germany.

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Their nests are lined with a cellophane-like plastic using secretions from two glands at the end of the abdomen and on the labium ("lower lip"). That's why they are also called polyester bees. In Germany we call them silk bees "Seidenbienen".

🌱🎶🐝🕳️ 🐝🕳️ 🐝🕳️🎶🌱🌞

They live solitary in colonies, in sunny locations with no or sparse vegetation, where they dig their holes. Each species of plasterer bees specializes in the pollen of a particular plant, as does the ivy bee.

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The distribution area of ​​the ivy bees in Germany is concentrated in the Upper Rhine Plain and the Middle Rhine (where these photos were taken) as well as the Moselle Valley. However, since 2006 there has been a major wave of spread. The bees have also developed a novel preference for kindergarten sandboxes.

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They are peaceful animals who were not disturbed at all by my presence. The females have a very weak stinger, which they only use in extreme danger. There are no known allergic reactions.

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🌳🐕👫🏼🌲

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Be yourself.
Know what you want.
Stay curious.
Go your way.
Discover beauty.
Come together.
Enjoy each other.
Enjoy the world.
Run around.
Plant some seeds.

🌱🌱🌱🍀🌱🌱🌱

Cuddling weekends with the cutest furry monster ♥️😜

In contrast to most other tachinid flies, the larvae of the bug fly (Phasia hemiptera) do not parasitize on caterpillars but on stink bugs.

The male is easily identified by the wings with iridescent blue-black spots.

Beautiful! 🥰