Someday I will devour the entire universe 🌌🌀😋

🤗 For a more nuanced discussion, please feel free to use the comments section, private messages or the anonymous contact form on my website.

🧠 People who are so focused on rationality that they fail to acknowledge their own emotions can miss important opportunities for self-reflection.

❤️‍🩹 When individuals mistake their feelings for objective logic, they risk avoiding accountability for their role in a situation.

👻 The real problem might be the way people, in general, avoid difficult conversations, whether through ghosting, blaming, or running away from emotional responsibility.

🌱🌱 Real growth happens when people face discomfort, acknowledge their emotions, and take responsibility for their part in conflicts.

🤷‍♂️ I wonder why people keep making seemingly critical statements, but as soon as an argument comes up that contradicts them or relativizes the statements, they can't discuss them. Instead, other measures are taken: silence, ignoring, aggression, escape.

👫 This applies to all genders, including those who regularly claim that they are able to deal with emotions so well.

🎯 I present my personal views publicly. There is the option to comment and people can write me messages. Sometimes my posts are seen by several thousand people. If I were afraid of that, I wouldn't do it. And I know that some of my views are controversial.

🤗 I would therefore like to point out again that I even offer an anonymous contact form on my website (megagroundsloth.de -> contact -> anonymous contact).

😶‍🌫️ This is specifically designed so that people who don't dare to criticize me directly can do so in this way.

🥱 However, most people don't do anything at all.

⚡️ I find that sad because I like being criticized.
⚡️ I love creative friction.

🌈 I know that no one is free from errors in thinking and that no one can completely keep their feelings out of their perception.

🙃 And sometimes - if not often - I want to deliberately provoke people so that they think. Being right all the time is less important than the exchange of ideas.

🤗 For a more nuanced discussion, please feel free to use the comments section, private messages or the anonymous contact form on my website.

A Cry for Survival (2007)

I often used photographs of myself in my early works. This meant I could freely choose the perspective and pose without having to worry about usage rights. At the time I was doing my technical vocational training and from afternoon to evening I created digital collages. Every two weeks I had a session with my therapist because of ADHD and at the time I was a student at Dieter Schiele's painting school, also about every two weeks. But he was never able to do anything with my collages and we mainly concentrated on realistic nature drawings on paper. However, I always liked to experiment and in the quick engagement with snippets of images, internal processes could be projected unhindered.

🤗 For a more nuanced discussion, please feel free to use the comments section, private messages or the anonymous contact form on my website.

❄️ It’s getting cold, and the first snowflakes are falling. Looking back, this year somehow feels like it lasted forever. It’s interesting, because I often feel the opposite—that time is racing. Yet now, it feels warm and soft, as if I’ve gained emotional distance from the events of a year ago. Even the memory of this summer feels like it belongs to a small eternity ago. So much has happened, and yet I’m often not even aware of it because life keeps pulling me forward.

It’s fascinating how time can feel both fleeting and expansive, depending on our perspective. In the midst of life’s events, time seems to rush by, leaving little room for reflection. But looking back, the emotional distance and layers of experience stretch and reshape time, making some moments feel like they belong to another lifetime.

Perhaps it’s this paradox—living forward but looking back—that defines our sense of time. Each season, each moment, becomes a layer: softening with distance but remaining an essential part of who we are. The warmth I feel now might come from the resilience and growth I’ve carried through this year. And as the snow falls, winter invites me to pause and honor what has passed, while quietly preparing for what’s to come.

🤗 For a more nuanced discussion, please feel free to use the comments section, private messages or the anonymous contact form on my website.

It has helped me to share my experiences and thoughts on various aspects of life that not only burden me but also strengthen me. A central difficulty is my tendency towards egocentric thinking.

This developed out of a system of oppression. In order to safeguard my interests within my family while constantly being manipulated and used, I developed coping mechanisms as a child.

I never had to do much to receive attention because my relatives wanted to maintain their influence over me. As a result, I never really felt the need to develop strong narcissistic behavior patterns within relationships.

Instead, I developed more egoistic behavior patterns because every stage of my life was marked by structural instability, and other people tried to influence my perspective, often for their own benefit.

I am not trapped in this egocentrism, but I am working on identifying the harmful aspects and their triggers. Like everyone, I have certain dynamics in my personality, consisting of adaptive (useful) and maladaptive (harmful) behavior patterns. These are closely linked to emotions and emotion regulation. I am very empathetic, but this is sometimes influenced more or less by my egoistic tendencies. My ADHD sometimes challenges my emotional regulation.

Since I have reported "publicly" on my experiences, it feels like I have regained a piece of self-determination, because now it has been said, and there’s nothing more I can do. I could still reach out to National Geographic, but I believe this is enough.

It has liberated me and allowed space for independent thinking that is not constantly under a defensive posture. Being able to take a free and self-determined (less self-centered) look at my own responsibilities has led me to the insight of what I can work on to improve my situation in the long term.

I have realized that my ability to consider other people's points of view can be improved and that I have a better chance of long-term emotional stability if I learn to forgive even the deepest pain, to let it go and stop giving it power.

🤗 For a more nuanced discussion, please feel free to use the comments section, private messages or the anonymous contact form on my website.

Purity and goodness 🤍💧

As children, we were asked which color we liked more: black or white. I chose black simply because I liked the color. Another child chose white, explaining that it represents purity and goodness. Interestingly, this person often acted in a scheming and spiteful manner, contrary to the symbolism of white.

This personal anecdote taught me that choosing a symbol doesn’t always reflect a person’s true values or behavior. Psychologically, it is known that there can be a significant gap between self-perception and actual behavior. Honesty and authenticity in self-expression are more important than striving for an idealized image.

I’m skeptical when someone claims they never lie or act toxic. Studies show that a strong emphasis on moral purity can sometimes indicate a distorted self-perception or even inner conflict. People who idealize themselves or fail to recognize their mistakes often struggle with personal growth, as they are less likely to engage in self-reflection and self-improvement.

Such people can strain relationships and undermine trust in their sincerity. Authenticity and the ability to admit mistakes and learn from them are crucial for personal and interpersonal development. Authenticity fosters deeper connections and greater trust within relationships.

Everyone has some narcissistic traits, and a healthy level of self-love is important. However, on social media, people often share oversimplified, polarizing opinions, promoting toxic positivity that ignores negative feelings and weaknesses. Toxic positivity, as defined by scholars, involves dismissing negative emotions and responding to distress with false reassurances rather than empathy.

Those who claim to have no narcissistic traits often seem inauthentic and are more likely to display toxic-narcissistic behavior. Authenticity means admitting one’s own flaws and weaknesses. Those who are open about their imperfections show a healthier attitude towards themselves and others, which is essential for genuine self-esteem and growth.

🤗 For a more nuanced discussion, please feel free to use the comments section, private messages or the anonymous contact form on my website.

Happy Pi Day!

Pi is a mathematical constant that describes the ratio of a circle's circumference to its diameter. The circle is often associated with perfection. Natural processes and structures are often characterized by irregularities and variations, even if they approximate a circular pattern. Idealized perfection, as defined in geometry, is rarely or not at all found in natural phenomena.

This is my 777th post! Like the number 7, the circle is often regarded as a symbol of completeness, perfection, and infinity, as it endlessly revolves around itself, without beginning or end. However, in contrast, Pi, an irrational number with an infinite decimal representation, remains inaccessible despite all efforts.

This irony underscores the tension between the ideal of completion and the reality of inaccessibility, offering insights into the nature of humanity and the universe.

In attempting to draw a circle, however, constantly deviating slightly from perfection, a spiral may emerge.

This consideration leads to a deeper understanding of the relationship between the circle, representing perfection and completion - and the spiral, often associated with growth, change, and evolution.

The spiral resulting from this attempt serves as a visual representation of human striving for perfection and completion, yet it also reminds me of the beauty of the natural and authentic, which often manifests in imperfection. Often hindered by errors, imperfections, or external influences.

Metaphorically, it expresses the infinite process of self-improvement and growth, while striving for perfection and grappling with the realities and challenges of life. Progress often occurs not linearly, but in waves or cycles.

In this sense, the emergence of a spiral from the attempt to draw a circle reminds me that perfection is a continuous process of self-unfolding and growth, driven by the pursuit of perfection and the acceptance of imperfection.

🤗 For a more nuanced discussion, please feel free to use the comments section, private messages or the anonymous contact form on my website.